My husband and I had decided before we moved to Mexico that we would no longer own (or be owned by) a car. We actually drove our last remaining car to Dallas, Texas, where we sold it at one of those “We’ll buy anything” car lots before flying to Mexico. As a result, we have become frequent Uber users. We figured that not having to pay for gas, insurance, maintenance and registration would easily cover what we would spend on Uber, and so far, that has been true. It’s true Uber prices have gone up slightly with the increase in gas prices, but we would have been paying that increase either way, so that’s a wash. Plus, it feels good knowing we are contributing to the economy of others by paying them to drive. I get it: no one’s getting rich as a driver, but with generous tips, they might be getting a little more ahead.
There is a downside, though.
The one noticeable disadvantage of not having our own car is that we can’t just hop in our jalopy and wander aimlessly around town, sight-seeing and exploring different neighborhoods. As a matter of fact, any spur-of-the-moment travel still requires at least a little calculation. If we need to make multiple stops, we have to enter that in the app or let the cab driver know ahead of time. Honestly, it’s a small price to pay, and we haven’t had a lot of heartburn with that.
It may sound scary to have a different stranger drive you every time you get in a car. I can honestly tell you, though, in the nine months we’ve been here, nothing scary has ever happened to us in an Uber. Every once in a great while, a driver will make a wrong turn or will drive like he’s late for a hot date, but for the most part, the rides with Uber have been uneventful. The great thing about using a ride service all the time is that we get to meet locals who offer a variety of suggestions, Spanish lessons, humor and music. Not everyone who drives is necessarily a good will ambassador, of course. But every one of them has gotten us where we said we were going. There have been a very few times when we arrived somewhere we weren’t expecting, but only because we goofed when entered an address in the Uber app.
Car chats.
Most of the time, the conversations during these rides begin much the same way. The driver will ask me in Spanish how I am doing and I will answer in Spanish “I am well, thanks, and how are you?” After they tell me in Spanish that they are well, too, they ask me where I am from. (I look forward to the day when my American accent no longer gives me away.) When I tell them we’re from the US but we live in Morelia, the next question is almost always, “How do you like living here?” I pretty much always tell them I am in love with Morelia and never want to live anywhere else. “Me gusta aqui. No quiero marcharme nunca.”
In one such conversation, a driver asked me what I liked best about Mexico and I mentioned that life here moves at a slower pace. It´s noisy but not angry. We keep busy but in a life-sustaining, healthy kind of way and not in a “work until you keel over at your desk from a heart attack” kind of way. Having been to the U.S., the driver heartily agreed, saying here in Mexico we can relax. But he said it as ¨relaaaaaaaaaax¨. I often think of that conversation.
Settling in a little.
I was sharing with a fellow ex-pat recently that for the first several months that we were here I was incredibly stressed out by my lack of Spanish, and constantly beating myself over the head for being a bad immigrant for not learning quickly enough. I explained to him that I only know a tiny bit more Spanish now than I did when we moved here. I’m just not as stressed about it anymore, because now I know that even in the direst circumstances, there are resources available to help me. That feeling of security has made a huge difference. I can´t begin to explain how much so.
Steve and I have also developed a rhythm in our lives. We have some routines that serve us really well. He goes for walks several times a week and I lose myself at the craft table several times a week. We gather with others at dinners, coffees or brunches as feels comfortable, and we are both able to enjoy solitude when we need and want to. Our lives in Mexico have become comfortable, with enough variation to avoid falling into a rut.
Of course, sometimes stuff happens to unsettle our equilibrium. Just the other day, we noticed that something was wrong with Stella the cat. She was lethargic, not eating, and pretty much hiding all day. As it turned out she had gum disease that was making it painful to eat. The vet cleaned her teeth and prescribed antibiotics and sent her back home to us. Stella’s illness was worrisome and sometimes frustrating. However, even then, it felt like Steve and I knew what we needed to do, and when we didn’t know, we knew who to ask.
Still learning.
I don´t want to get cocky and make it sound like I´ve got this expat life all figured out. Nothing could be farther from the truth. I have a whole lot to learn and I still get frustrated with my slow learning pace. I guess the one thing I have realized is that learning is kind of the point. When my insecurities whisper to me that I´m not learning enough, I can look back just six short months and see that I have made progress.
It’s very much like getting a ride. I do what I can to make it happen and then I sit back and let the journey unfold as it may, observing the sights and sounds, and learning what I can along the way. Some may describe this as “let go and let God”. Others might say it is letting go of the need to control every single aspect of life here.
Me? I have learned to remind myself to just relaaaaaaaaaax.
